We've all heard it. "It takes 21 days to make or break a habit". Does it really work? I've always wondered what started such a saying so I did a little digging. Here's what I found.
Where it Started
As far as I could find it began in the 50's with a plastic surgeon who noticed that the phantom pain from certain surgeries would begin to subside about 21 days post-op. He would go on to write a book about the idea and years down the line, like a decades long game of telephone, self-help gurus began latching on to the idea as a catch phrase. They started saying "21 days to make a habit" forgetting the initial part of the idea that it takes 21 days to BEGIN noticing the change.
You see, the 21 day mark is where you start to notice that the new thing really has the ability to become a part of you. You begin to make peace with it. But you are not adept at it just yet. Come on, did you really think you could quit smoking, give up soda, run 3 miles a day, read each night, stop using your Facebook after 7pm (yeah, right!), etc. in just 21 days?! The only research done around this area has shown that even the simplest of habits takes about 66 days to build! Depending on what you are trying to accomplish, it could take a year or more. Ask anyone who has successfully quit smoking, gotten sober from anything, or mastered any skill, it takes constant work to stay successful.
What You Can Do
Mastery of something takes a lifetime! But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't start. It does mean though, that you must be in it for the long haul. Creating a good habit or breaking a bad one is a journey, not a destination. Rather than try it only to fall off the wagon on day 22 just because you made it 21 days, commit to it for the long haul. Just know that after 21 days of doing it (or not doing it) you'll BEGIN to notice it really might become a part of you.
Here are a 3 tips to get/keep you going:
1) Don't get fooled by the Honeymoon Phase. The first few days may seem easy, like this is going to be no sweat. It might be that way (depending on what you are tackling), be prepared for a fight, and soon.
2) Win the fight thru moments. How? We are the sum of our thoughts. Kill off negative self talk and remind yourself why you wanted to this. Give yourself positive self talk and focus on success in that moment. You may not always be able to control the end result, but you can control your attitude and your effort when you want to give up the most. Lose a fight thru moment, and you'll give yourself permission to lose again and again. FIGHT THRU!
3) Don't let hiccups become road blocks. So you lost a fight thru moment. To borrow a phrase from my days as a hockey goalie, "you gotta have a short term memory". It means if you let one by, don't let it be the reason you let the next one by. Give yourself room to grow and get better. You're not perfect, but you are trying to be better which goes back to the fight thru moments. Here comes another. Are you going to fight to win? Or are you just putting on a show but have decided to lose already? Remember, you can control your attitude and your effort in these moments. Use it to propel yourself toward success.
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